My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
