Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
