question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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