You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex on a dog bed..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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