just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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