Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
