I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
