fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What drink are we having for lunch?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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