The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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