i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
