is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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