I want to have your abortion
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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