i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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