If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
