Its about making memories worth repressing
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
