I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
