she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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