Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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