Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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