Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
