maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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