I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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