so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
