Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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