I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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