I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
