C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.