That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
