whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
