tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
