She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
