I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
