party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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