Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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