Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
