She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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