Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
