My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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