Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize