Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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