So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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