To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
