The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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