Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
