Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
True college students do jello shots in the library
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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