batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
