doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
