Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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