SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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