I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
