he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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