grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize