If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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