I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
