I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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