You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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