God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
