it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
