Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
