I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
